A Gentle Message for Cozy Gamers

The role of video games in my life has always been strangely fraught. This is something I’ve written about before, but even though I loved games as a kid and spent almost all of my free time as a kid playing Nintendo DS and computer games I checked out from my local library, I simultaneously rejected the role and identity of gamer.

It had to do with a few things – gendered expectations, for one. When I was younger, I didn’t have a lot of examples of women who enjoyed video games – the cultural image was always a teenage boy or young man. When I got older, though, I started to hear about things like Gamergate – a movement of targeted harassment against women and other minority game developers and creators under the guise of “integrity in the games journalism industry.”

Now that I’m an adult, though, I feel like the label is pretty unavoidable for me. I spend a lot of my free time playing video games, and spend a decent chunk of my disposable income adding to my collection. I enjoy keeping up with releases of game franchises I care about, and follow Twitch streamers, voice actors, developers, and other creatives and influencers in the gaming industry.

At the same time, claiming the term gamer has just become a lot more common and a lot easier. There’s now a ton more representation within the gaming community of all sorts of people, not just the quintessential young white straight cis guy.

But I also think there’s an interesting shift in what sort of games are even being made, as well. I think there’s something to be said about the baggage that comes when you discuss the connection between video game genres and the gender of the players who enjoy them.

A lot of gaming franchises that have historically been popular with women tend to get disparaged and written off, on one hand. On the other, a lot of the games associated with women tend to be associated because of some pretty insidious gendered stereotypes.

All that acknowledged, I can’t help but feel that the cultural shift within video games coincides with, or perhaps is caused by, the growth of gaming genres like life simulators, dating sims, farming simulators, and other genres that have come to fall under one mega-genre… the “cozy” game. And cozy gaming is a huge movement – one I have some mixed feelings about.

Though cozy games have been around for just about as long as games have, I think it’s pretty clear that the beginning of the modern cozy game movement came with the release of Animal Crossing New Horizons in 2020. The game’s coincidental release at essentially the very beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic brought a ton of new gamers into the fold. Seeking comfort and companionship during a scary worldwide crisis, it simultaneously molded the tastes of many of these new gamers, many of whom weren’t the traditional gamer. Now, four years later, many of these players have moved on to other games – creating the huge boom.

Therefore, the definition of a cozy game is fairly influenced by Animal Crossing. Regardless, as with any genre, the definition of a cozy game is somewhat abstract. As the name suggests, a traditional cozy game is any game that is designed to elicit feelings of comfort and calm in a player. Generally, these games test player creativity, social skills, and curation. This makes the bounds of the genre somewhat easy to see in some cases – for example, a heart-pounding, fast-paced first-person shooter is likely not going to fit the bill. Nor will a terrifying survival horror game.

However, beyond the obvious examples, there’s a surprising amount of nuance. For some, the genre’s conventions are fairly loose, and can be applied to any game that can be comforting to a player. For others, any kind of conflict or dark tone disqualifies a game from the moniker. I’ve seen people legitimately try and argue that cutesy farming simulator Stardew Valley, arguably one of the founding games of the cozy game movement, can’t be considered a cozy game due to its exploration of themes of alcoholism, death, and familial abuse in some of the backstories of its characters.

Regardless of the fuzziness of its boundaries, though, it’s pretty impossible to deny the strength and clout of this new genre. Whereas shooters, adventure games, and platformers previously dominated the games market, there’s now dedicated cozy game sections of major gaming platforms like Steam, and the organization Wholesome Games has sprung up along with its regular “Wholesome Directs”, which bring together indie games that fit the cozy game genre and promote their release in the style of bigger companies like Nintendo’s promotional game presentations.

Where once the gaming industry felt like a hostile place for a young girl like me, particularly to the kinds of games I was drawn to – creative, slow-paced, nonviolent, and cute – these games are now numerous and openly celebrated.

In many ways – it’s wonderful to see. I imagine there’s probably a lot of girls, queer people, people of color, and other traditionally non-represented populations getting to feel comfortable and supported in the gaming world.

Still, though, I sometimes feel like as wonderful as cozy games are as a genre, that they might have some downsides. There is nothing at all wrong with wanting a comforting gaming experience – it tends to be what I’m drawn to myself. But there’s also something a bit limiting about the way I see people discuss cozy games. Creators stay within the bounds of the genre, recommending only games that fit the cozy game mantra. Creators within this space who step outside of it are often made fun of or chastised.

And I return to some of my reservations about the gendered expectations that continue to swirl around. As wonderful as cozy games are as a space, as welcoming as they can be, are we really making meaningful change in this culture if we continue to accept that video games for women must necessarily be soft, cute, and slow-paced? Are we limiting these new gamers from seeing the wide variety of wonderful games that exist if we continue to push the existence of this so-called cozy game genre and encourage people to exist only within it? When some people deny that a cozy game is even allowed to cover darker themes… well, is that healthy for a genre?

I think of games like the Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild or Hades – action/adventure games with moments of violence and “cozy game” traits. The comforting music, beautiful soundscapes, and pensive atmosphere of Breath of the Wild was one of the most soothing I’ve ever experienced, even if it came between heart-pounding action scenes. Hades has some of the best character writing and story development I’ve seen, in the package of a tough-as-nails rougelike fighting game.

I say this because these are two games that challenged my vision of myself as a gamer. Before playing both of them, I doubted I even could. I had spent so many years seeing myself as not very skilled at the types of games that required quick reflexes and strategic thinking. But it was the more “cozy” aspect of these two games that encouraged me to try them anyway and find out that I enjoyed being challenged by the less “cozy” aspects of them.

Maybe my fears are unnecessary. Perhaps I can put my trust in these new cozy gamers to know their own interests and not be afraid to explore games outside of the cozy game moniker. Or, perhaps, there are probably many of these gamers who will be perfectly happy to stay within their genre and there’s nothing inherently less valuable about that.

But if you’re a cozy gamer yourself, reading this post, I wanted to say – hello. I love you. I used to be you. In many ways I still am you. I’m so happy that the gaming industry has changed to meet what you love. I’m so happy things are better for you. It’s what you deserve. It’s what we deserve.

At the same time, please don’t feel restricted by the cozy game genre. Even if you think you’re not a very talented gamer – sometimes it’s worthwhile to challenge yourself. You might find a game that changes your view of what games can be – and of your own skill.

Gaming is amazing. Video games are some of the coolest, most innovative pieces of art right now. Don’t limit yourself to just a few based on the opinions of an influencer or advertiser. You’re more than capable of experiencing the breadth of this world.